My Black Girl Features (featured)

By now you know I have a “black girl” name, born a true 80’s baby, the “shas” were running rapid and I seem to have gotten the short end of the stick. At least that was my past thinking. It really threw me over the top when Lil Wayne made an ode of sorts especially for girls with my name fucking prick. So now every joke thats told about a ghetto baby mama, her name is Keisha, and I cringe at the thought. Up until recently that is, I have owned my black girl name. Just as much as I’ve owned this hazel black girl skin, my full black girl lips, my thick black girl hair, the way that my hips have black girl ballooned since high school, my black girl thumper, my black girl walk, and my black girl talk.

I’m not black and indian, or black and white, or black and latino, or black and chinese. We’re all mixed with something, but I know that I am predominantly black, and I’m owning that shit.

I love red kool-aid, fried chicken, Usher and Richard Pryor. I also love Van Gogh, John Mayer, Salmon, and Dana Carvey. One can’t define MY “blackness” by my name, or the people I entertain. One can’t define MY blackness at all, because its mine, not yours. Assuming that I’m “ghetto” on just hearing my name makes you the ignorant one. Assuming that I’m arrogant because of the way that I speak off and on  makes you the ignorant one.

I’m less concerned with what you think about me, I’m less concerned that you care what race I choose to date, I’m less concerned about your validity of my “realness”. I’m more concerned about your kids, and how they’re just little you’s and since I’m in charge of my daughters future, maybe schooling you will rub off on them, which would rid my daughter’s life of the fuckery that is sure to come.

So before you say “oh she is boo-zhee” which, btw is correctly spelled bourgie short for bourgeoisie


“oh my God shes hood”

Get to know the person first, some of us are able to reach a happy medium, you ought to try it sometime. Me? I’m a black girl, from 57th street, who came from a one parent home, had 3 full course meals to eat each day, had the latest air maxes, and who could read at the age of two..nothing short of spec-frickin-tacular. I also enjoy shows like The Boondocks & The Cleveland Show…and hey why not throw in the Flavor of Love because I liked that shit too.

I am (at the same time) able to reach any level of knowledge you’d like to throw at me, and if not I’m always willing to shut up and learn something new.


*b-boy stance*


12 thoughts on “My Black Girl Features (featured)

  1. *chanting* i’m black yall, i’m black yall, i’m blacker than black cause i’m black yall…

    I must admit you talking of your thumper does something for the kid…

    Unfortnately, I save all my deep intellectual conversations for those third eye, finger snapping, Love Jones, only drink out of wine glasses cause wine just don’t taste the same in a plastic cup and he’s paying anyway types (but i want the draws so you do what you gotta do…) and we’ve never had that kind of relationship…so i have nothing else profound to add at this point…

    I do have a question? Is that the reason you named your daughter Riley? Not only will it confuse them of gender, but ethnicity as well? You so smot!!!

    • You are crazy Tony! You took one for the team on paying for that 12 dollar wine huh? You gotta do what you gotta do!

      I wish I could say that about Ri’s name, but like I said in the post, I like The Boondocks, and I also like the character Riley…soooooo, but damn what you said was deep. So um yea, thats why I did it.. *snap-snap* (while smoking on my redwood pipe in my smoking jacket) I’ll tell her thats the reason I named her Riley…lol “its to fool the masses baby” knowing damn well shes named after a cartoon character..smmfh

  2. Standing O! Not Standing while having the big O! {Reference to your thumper} … but a rousing *pause* ovation.

    I’m all in on this! Very well written with yo’ “What flava’ Kool-Aid? … red drinking ghetto, bourgie ass.

    Loving your post. Always looking forward to the next. Kudos.

    • Thank you, I am going to try that pumpkin pie recipe (never even had pumpkin pie) so thanks for putting that up, I will let you know how it comes out lol.

  3. Very well written! I personally never thought the name was “ghetto”. I’ve heard some names that made me wanna find the person’s mama and daddy and slap ’em. I won’t mention names to offend anyone lol.

    BTW, I love the name Riley and always thought I’d name my daughter that. I fancy names considered masculine for girls. I personally wanna keep them guessing and shocked when a lil Black girl walks in the room. Lol.

  4. jeez many of the remarks readers post make me laugh, over and over i ask myself whether they actually read the article and content before placing a comment or whether or not they actually read over the subject of the post and pen only the first thought that drifts into their minds. nonetheless, it is really relaxing to read clever commentary every now and then as opposed to the very same, classic post vomit which i mostly discover on the web

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